You may have had a miscarriage, a stillbirth, an ectopic pregnancy, a termination for medical reasons, or a baby who died after birth. You may have heard that writing can help, then opened a notebook and found the blank page too big. These journal prompts for baby loss are meant to make it smaller. Each one gives you a place to start, and none of them asks you to be okay.

They're written for anyone who lost a pregnancy or a baby: birthing parents, partners, co-parents and intended parents. Use whatever words fit. Swap "baby" for a name, a nickname, "the pregnancy," or nothing at all.

Before you start: a few ground rules (all optional)

This journal belongs to you, and there's no wrong way to use it.

• Skip anything. A prompt that feels wrong today may fit next month, or never.
• Write as little as you want. One word counts. So does a sentence you cross out.
• Spelling and grammar don't matter. Nobody is grading this.
• Keep it private. You don't owe anyone a read, including a partner.
• Stop whenever you want. Closing the notebook mid-sentence is allowed.

To be clear: these prompts are a private practice, not therapy and not a treatment for grief. If writing stirs up more than you can hold alone, that's a sign to reach for a person, not to push through the page. There's a section on finding support below.

How the prompts are grouped

Grief after a loss rarely moves in order. So instead of a step-by-step program, the 15 prompts are grouped by pace. Pick the group that matches the day you're having, and move between groups freely.

Right Now: prompts for the first days and weeks

In short: short, concrete, low effort. These are for when your body may still be recovering and your mind feels foggy.

1. Name the feeling

"Right now my body feels ___. My heart feels ___."

Two blanks is plenty. Numb, tired, angry and "nothing" are all real answers.

2. Name one need

"One thing I need today is ___. One person I could ask for it is ___."

This one is practical on purpose. A meal, a ride, someone to make a hard phone call, a day with no visitors. Writing it down can make it easier to say out loud.

3. Save the details

"Things I don't want to forget: ___."

Dates, a name you chose, a kind nurse, the weather, what you were wearing. Details from these days can blur. Some people want them written down early, and some don't want them at all. Either is fine.

4. Say one thing to your baby

"Dear ___, I want you to know ___."

Keep it to one sentence if that's all you have. You can add to it later or leave it exactly as it is.

5. Tell it in your own words

"What happened, the way I remember it: ___."

This is the heaviest prompt in the group, so it comes last. If you're not ready to write the story, skip it. You can come back to it in a month, a year, or not at all.

On Hard Days: prompts for due dates, announcements and bad mornings

In short: these are for a specific moment that knocks the wind out of you, whether you saw it coming or not.

Some hard days are predictable: the due date, the anniversary, Mother's Day or Father's Day, the first holidays. Others arrive with no warning, like a friend's pregnancy announcement, the baby aisle at the store, or a form that asks for "number of children."

6. Name what made today hard

"Today is hard because ___. Today I'm allowed to ___."

The second blank is permission. Cancel plans, leave early, stay in bed until noon, eat cereal for dinner.

7. Decide what to do with a date

"On [the due date / the anniversary], what would feel right is ___. What I want to avoid is ___."

Planning a few days ahead can take some pressure off the day itself. "Nothing special" is a valid plan.

8. Hold two feelings at once

"When I heard someone else's baby news, I felt ___. I can be happy for them and still feel ___."

Jealousy, sadness and real happiness for a friend can sit side by side. Writing both down can make that feel less like a contradiction.

9. Sort out what people said

"Something someone said that hurt was ___. What I wish they had said instead is ___."

This one pays off later. When a friend asks how to support you, you'll already have the words.

10. Answer a hard thought the way you'd answer a friend

"A thought I keep having is ___. If a friend told me this, I would tell them ___."

Blame and "what if" thoughts are common after a loss. You don't have to argue yourself out of them. Just write what you'd say to someone you love who had the same thought. If a medical question sits behind a "what if," bring it to your doctor or midwife, who can actually answer it.

Someday: prompts for when you want to reflect

In short: slower prompts for months or years from now. There's no deadline, and no point where you "should" be ready.

11. How they changed you

"Because of you, I ___."

Some people write about a new tenderness, some about anger, some about loving the people around them differently. All of it counts.

12. Where you find them now

"I think of you when ___."

A season, a song, a color, a time of day, a street you walk. This is a list you can keep adding to over the years.

13. What you want others to know

"What I want the people I love to know about you is ___."

This might be for a partner, grandparents, close friends, or children you have now or later. If a new pregnancy becomes part of your story and you have older kids, our guide to explaining a rainbow baby to an older sibling has wording by age that you can adapt.

14. A way to remember each year

"Each year, I'd like to remember you by ___."

A walk, a donation, a candle, a favorite meal, a quiet hour. October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and our no-pressure ideas for marking October 15 can help if you'd like company in remembering. A private date that belongs only to your family works just as well.

15. A letter to the person you were

"Dear me, on the worst day: here's what I know now that I didn't know then. ___"

This one works best with some distance. Date it. If you write it again a few years later, the two letters can show you what has changed and what hasn't.

Small ways to make journaling gentler

Lower the stakes. You don't need a special notebook or a daily habit.

• Use what's easy. A cheap notebook, a notes app, voice memos, or an email draft to yourself. Voice memos can help when writing feels like too much.
• Set a small limit. One prompt, five minutes, or three lines. A timer can make it feel contained.
• Date each entry. Later, dates help you see what has shifted, especially when the same prompt gets different answers.
• Plan a gentle next step. Write with a cup of tea, before a shower, or right before a walk. If writing late at night leaves you wide awake, try an earlier hour.
• Write separately if you're a couple. Partners may grieve on different schedules. Separate journals keep that okay, and you can agree to share an entry only if you both want to.
• Tear out a page if you need to. Some entries you'll want to keep. Some you won't. Both are allowed.

When a journal isn't enough

In short: journaling is one small tool. It doesn't replace care from people trained to help with grief, and needing more support isn't a failure.

Consider reaching out to someone if:

• Weeks go by and the heaviness is growing, not easing.
• You're struggling to sleep, eat, work, or get through basic parts of the day.
• Writing brings up memories or feelings that feel too big to hold alone.
• You're having thoughts of hurting yourself or of not wanting to be here.

If that last one is true, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US, any time of day. If you're in immediate danger, call 911.

For support that isn't an emergency:

• Your OB, midwife or primary care provider can refer you to a counselor who works with pregnancy and infant loss. They're also the right people for questions about your body's recovery.
• Some hospitals have a bereavement coordinator, social worker or chaplain who follows up with families after a loss. It's worth asking where you delivered or were treated.
• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support offers peer support for families after miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death.
• Postpartum Support International offers support for emotional health around pregnancy, including after a loss.

If you do see a counselor, you can bring an entry along or keep the journal completely separate. That's your call.

If you're sharing these prompts with someone who's grieving

Offer them as a quiet option, never as homework.

• Send the link with no strings attached, something like: "No need to reply. Saving these here in case they help, now or later."
• If you give a notebook, keep it simple and leave the pages blank. A short note inside the cover is enough.
• Don't check in later on whether they've used it.
• Keep showing up in other ways: meals, errands, and saying the baby's name if the parents have shared it.

If your friend or family member later shares news of a new pregnancy, our guide on what to say to someone who's pregnant after a loss has specific wording that doesn't brush past what came before.

If you take one thing from this page, let it be this: start with the smallest prompt that fits today. One line in the Right Now section is a real entry. The rest will be here when, or if, you want it. And if the page starts to feel too heavy, close it and reach for a person instead.

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