Maybe a seven-year-old just arrived with everything they own in one bag. Maybe you're caring for a baby who could go home next month or stay for two years. Your own kids have pencil lines on the pantry door, and you're wondering if this child should get one too, and what happens to that line when they leave.

This guide covers tracking growth for a foster child in a way that respects their privacy, their pace, and the family they may return to. It's written for foster parents, kinship caregivers, and respite families. It works whether a placement lasts three weeks or three years.

Should you mark a foster child's height at all?

In short: usually yes, if the child wants to and the record is built to travel.

Many children in care move more than once, and photos, papers, and small keepsakes can get lost along the way. That's a big part of why agencies encourage foster parents to help with a life book (sometimes spelled lifebook), a scrapbook-style record of a child's time in care that goes with them. A simple height record fits right inside one.

A height mark says something plain and steady: you were here, someone paid attention, and you grew. For a child whose life just changed fast, that can matter more than it looks.

It isn't right for every child or every moment, though. Wait, or skip it, if:

• The child is in their first days with you and still finding their feet.
• They've said no, or they tense up when you bring it up.
• They're sensitive about their size, and a number would feel like a test.
• Your caseworker has flagged a safety or privacy reason to keep the child's name out of sight.

Skipping the marks isn't failing the child. A photo of them in their favorite shirt, with the month written on the back, does much of the same work.

Check in with the child's team first

Foster families work within rules set by their agency and, often, the court. Those rules vary a lot by state and agency. Photos, social media, and anything showing a child's full name are the usual sticking points, so ask before you hang or post anything.

Things worth asking:

• Can we keep a height record for the child's life book?
• Is the child's first name okay on it, or should we use initials?
• Can we photograph the child next to their marks, and where can those photos go?
• Would the birth family want a copy or an update, and how should it be shared?
• If the child moves, who should the record go to?

Here's a message you can copy and adjust:

"We'd like to keep a simple height record for [first name] that can go in their life book and travel with them. Is it okay to use their first name on it, and to take a photo of them next to the marks? Is there anything we should leave out, or anyone we should share it with?"

If the plan is reunification, the record may someday be a gift for the birth family too. A birth parent may be glad to see how their child grew, or may find it painful to see what they missed. Your caseworker can help you judge the timing.

If you have a warm working relationship with a birth parent and the team supports it, you could even invite them to add a mark at a visit. For broader foster-parenting questions, the Child Welfare Information Gateway, run by the U.S. Children's Bureau, has plain-language resources for foster and kinship families.

Where to keep the marks so they can leave with the child

In short: choose something that rolls up, folds, or fits in a binder.

Door frames and painted walls are lovely for kids who'll grow up in the house. For a child who may move, they create a record the child can't take. A growth chart for a foster child doesn't need to be fancy. It needs to be portable.

A simple rule: if you don't know how long the placement will last, start with paper or a notebook. You can always copy the marks onto something sturdier later. If you're weighing wall charts against ruler-style ones, our comparison of growth chart formats walks through the tradeoffs.

What if your own kids already have a chart? If the foster child would like to be on it, add them the same way, with the same pen and the same kind of mark, not in a separate corner. Then give them a portable copy of their own marks. Being included and having something to keep go together just fine.

How to measure a foster child gently

In short: ask first, say what you're doing, and keep it quick.

Some children in care are wary of an adult standing close, touching their head, or telling them to hold still. A few small changes help measuring feel like something they do, not something done to them.

1. Ask, and mean it. Offer once, lightly, and accept no. Try: "Want to see how tall you are? We can write it down, or not. It's up to you." If they pass: "Okay. The offer's open anytime."
2. Let them pick the day. A first mark on arrival day ties the mark to a hard day. Consider waiting until they've settled in, or let them choose a day that feels good, like the first warm weekend or the last day of school.
3. Show how it works. Measure yourself, a sibling, or a favorite stuffed animal first so nothing is a surprise.
4. Narrate each step. "Shoes off, heels to the wall. I'm going to rest this book flat on your head now." Older kids can hold the book themselves while you read the line.
5. Keep the number neutral. Ask if they want to hear it. Skip comparisons like "taller than your brother" or "small for your age."
6. Let them add something. Initials, a small star, a color they choose. For kids under 3, an adult holds the pen and keeps the cap out of reach.
7. Write it down right away in the portable record: date, height, and one detail.

For babies who can't stand yet, skip wall marks. Their doctor measures length at checkups, and you can jot each number into the life book if your agency is fine with that. A pencil tracing of a hand or foot, done by an adult, makes a sweet companion page.

For more on getting a steady, accurate mark, see our guide on when to start tracking a child's height and how to measure at home. Home marks aren't medical records, though. If you have questions about a foster child's growth, their pediatrician is the right person to ask, and HealthyChildren.org, the American Academy of Pediatrics' site for parents, is a good general reference.

Matching it to the child's age and the placement

There's no single right way to handle measuring height during a foster care placement. Gentle milestone tracking for a foster child looks different at 2 than at 15, and different for a weekend stay than for a two-year one.

Babies and toddlers (birth to 3)

The record is mostly for later: for the child as they grow up, and for whoever raises them next. Keep it simple and adult-run. Checkup numbers, a hand tracing, and a photo every so often are plenty.

Preschool and early school age (3 to 8)

Kids this age often enjoy measuring. Let them pick the day, add a sticker next to their mark, and tell you what to write. Tie measuring to a season or a school milestone, never to a date connected to their case.

Older kids (8 to 12)

They'll have opinions. Some want a big, visible chart; others want nothing on the wall. Offer both options and let them keep the record in their own room if they like.

Teens

Ask, but don't be surprised by a no. A teen may be fine with a private note in their own notebook and nothing more. If they want it, let them own it completely: they measure, they write, they decide who sees it.

Emergency or very short stays

One mark, or none. A single page with the date, their height, and one kind line ("You loved the swings at the park") gives a child something to take from even a few days.

Long-term placements or possible adoption

You can move to something more lasting, like a canvas chart in their room. Still keep a portable copy, because plans in foster care change. And if the child does stay for good, those early marks become the first chapter of a longer record.

What to write next to each mark

On anything visitors can see, keep identifying details to a first name or initials, plus the month, year, and height. A short, non-identifying note the child picks, like the ones below, is fine too. Save the fuller details for the life book, where the child has more say over who reads it.

Leave these off entirely:

• The date they came into care, court dates, or visit schedules
• Anything about why they're in care or their birth family's situation
• Comparisons to siblings, other foster kids, or what's "normal" for their age
• Lines that credit your home for their growth, like "look how much you grew with us"

That last one is easy to say without thinking. To a child who loves their birth family, it can sound like their first home did something wrong. "You were 44 inches in March" says the same thing, gently.

Here's a growth page you can copy into a life book. The child can fill it in, or tell you what to write.

[First name]'s Growth Page
Date: ________ Height: ________
Right now I love: ________
Something new I can do: ________
My favorite food this season: ________
In my own words: ________
Measured with help from: ________

A few short notes for beside a mark, if the child wants one:

• "Lost my first tooth this month."
• "Rode a bike with no training wheels."
• "Obsessed with sharks."
• "Started second grade."

When the child moves on: what to do with the record

In short: keep it current, copy it, and hand it over with care.

Placements can end on short notice. The kindest thing you can do is keep the record up to date as you go, so it's ready even if a move comes fast. Keep it in one spot you can grab in a minute.

When a move is coming, work through this list:

• ☐  Offer a final mark a few days before the move, not on moving day, and only if the child wants one.
• ☐  Add a closing note to the growth page (template below).
• ☐  Photograph every mark, including any on your family chart or door frame, and copy the numbers into the child's record.
• ☐  Roll or fold the record and pack it in a real bag or box with the child's things, not loose and not in a trash bag.
• ☐  Show the child where it's packed and tell them it's theirs.
• ☐  Give a copy to the caseworker for the life book file, if that's your agency's practice.
• ☐  If the child is going home, ask the caseworker whether the birth family would like a short note with it.
• ☐  Check your agency's rules before keeping any photos yourself.

A closing note you can adapt:

"These are [first name]'s height marks from [month, year] to [month, year]. [First name] chose when to measure and added the stars. We hope someone keeps adding to it."

If the move was sudden and the record got left behind, it's not too late. Ask the caseworker to pass it along. It still counts.

What about the marks left on your wall?

You might keep a small initial-and-date mark for every child who has lived with you, as a quiet way to remember. Or you might paint over it when a child leaves. Both are okay.

Think about the next child who sees them. Rows of marks might tell them lots of kids have been cared for here, or they might wonder if they'll be just another line. If you keep old marks, use initials only, and never erase a child's mark where other kids in your home can watch it happen.

And if handing over the record is hard, that makes sense. Missing a child who has moved on is part of having cared for them. The mark you keep can be just for you.

If you're a friend, grandparent, or neighbor of a foster family, our guide to supporting foster and adoptive families has ideas that help without adding pressure.

If you remember one thing, make it this: portable, private, and the child's choice. A strip of paper, a pencil, and a date are enough. What matters most is that the record goes where the child goes.

Frequently asked questions